I’m Whitney, and I’m on a journey to become the best me I can be.
I’m a 25 year old female, 5’5, and while I’ve never been fat, I’ve never been the typical So Cal skinny that I’ve been surrounded by for the past 6 years. My heaviest weight (aka when I started caring, pretty much before I moved to CA) was somewhere in the ballpark of 160-170lbs. I got a gym membership, gave a vegetarian diet a shot for 8 months, and while I worked out a lot I still ate like crap and didn’t lose much, if any, weight. 2 years later while living with my boyfriend at the time, I started losing weight by simply making more homemade meals and by waitressing in an Italian restaurant- if you could imagine! One day we broke up, and it was a very, very hard time for me. My appetite shrunk as my heart struggled to mend, and I kept my mind and body preoccupied with power yoga and elliptical sessions. At the end of the summer, and the start of my last year of college, I was a svelte 135lbs and I was looking pretty hot.
Since then, a lot of life has been lived. I started dating a new guy and we were a great match because we were both self-proclaimed foodies and loved to cook. We liked to cook together, and we liked to eat together. He spoiled me with delicious food, I became next-to-addicted to Yogurtland’s Red Velvet Cupcake Batter, and my 135lbs climbed to 140, 145lbs. Then I broke up with him, I graduated college, and I entered an angry depressive episode. I struggled between part and full time jobs, I couldn’t afford my gym membership, I even had to live out of my car for a week. I was STRESSED. And when I’m stressed, I eat. So I ate. And I was still stressed. And then I realized that I was considerably squishier than I was before.
And I don’t like that. So I’m going to change that.
I’ve been practicing yoga since mid-2007. I’ve practiced hatha, vinyasa, power, ashtanga, and now bikram. Ever since my first downward dog I’ve been in love. Yoga is one of the best things to have ever come into my life.
I should take a moment to mention that I have ADHD predominantly inattentive type, and atypical depression. The two of these usually play hand in hand as they intertwine in my life in varying degrees. My depressive episodes are usually brought on my stress, and when they rear their ugly heads they are destructive and impossible to shake. I’ve dealt with this roller coaster since I was 17, and 8 years later I’m finally at a point in my life where I can do something about them. I take medication to help control my symptoms and improve my everyday quality of life, but I don’t go to therapy.
Yoga is my therapy. My practice is my escape, and as of late has started to overflow into every area of my life. It’s the one place I can completely let go of my thoughts to completely focus on my practice. I leave my negative and stress-filled thoughts at the door of the yoga studio and enjoy a 90 minute vacation that is about me, my practice, and my inner peace.
January 16 I started a 60 Day Challenge of Bikram yoga, and have been eating a strict ketogenic diet. I’m doing this so I can prove to myself that I can do it, so I can become healthier, so I can ultimately become the best me I can be.
Namaste.
